If the human race is a social animal how can we ensure a family or team continues to perform when conflict arises? We all experience conflict at some time in our lives – it’s impossible not to, especially as the media informs us that by the end of today seven billion people will inhabit the planet.
Conflict, at work with colleagues or the boss, at home with the neighbour, spouse, partner, family members or children often evoke a wide range of difficult feelings including abandonment, isolation or anger. It’s often the case that these feelings are dealt with through the use of avoidance - if we don’t see or hear the other person then the problem will go away.
Avoidance is often the first response when conflict arises, sometimes it works for a short while, but conflict doesn’t go away that easily! Avoiding people and situations can be a short-term solution, but for a long-term resolution we have to break down the barriers that have arisen. Talking – whether together or through a third person is often the best way forward, but opening up the lines of communication can be frightening and difficult when disputes become entrenched.
Managing conflict can make a real difference to how quickly and effectively conflict can be reduced, ensuring all parties involved have had the opportunity to air their views and focus on moving forward.
Okay, so if it’s that easy how come conflict can last days, months, even years I hear you say? That’s because conflict evokes primal feelings within us that can take a long time to overcome without an effective intervention. There are a range of benefits too - we can look at ourselves and the world around us in a different way, we can humanise rather than demonise the other person/people; and we can recognise and seperate ourselves from what Jung termed as our ‘shadow’.
Conflict takes courage to overcome, but with seven billion people on the planet by the end of today, we owe it to ourselves to live together.